My Messy Desk
As I sit to write my first official blog I look at my desk and think how reflective it is right now of the pace of my life. It's chaotic on the best of days and an abyss on the worst. Beneath the folders, the papers, the receipts, and binders, under the wrappers, the devotionals, and the books, below the cds, envelopes, and assorted writing utensils, somewhere underneath resides my desk. This is not a collection of laziness or even distractedness, this is a pile of 1000 different directions, ideas, and tasks being simultaneously executed. I've spent countless hours organizing, cleaning, and finding the desk underneath only to ultimately end up back where I started. Life in ministry is that way though, as long as I have been doing it, almost 10 years now, linear would never be a word I used in my experience.
The work of the church is messy, it's chaotic, and it's all consuming if your not careful. I have learned the hard way that I need to be intentional about carving out time for myself and even more importantly protecting my time with my wife and daughter. This means that sometimes I have to be willing to walk away from the middle of my current task because it's 5:00pm and I promised I would be home for dinner. Sometimes it means coming in an hour later than I had planned, because the baby didn't sleep well and momma should have the same access to a shower for the day that daddy has. These are just the bookends of my work days and I wouldn't trade them for anything. The middle of my day involves planned meetings, unexpected visits, and tasks that need to be completed now as part of being a team player.
Today someone came into the office and I over heard they needed a hug. That was literally the first things out of their mouth. An unexpected visit from someone who is first looking for a hug. Where else can you go and this is not an unreasonable request? I look back at most the interruptions that "plague" my day, I look at the people that come by to see me and I think over the last few months.... my interruptions are people looking for help with family issues, deep emotional trauma, people who have something they need to say but no where safe to say it, people who come seeking an ear or advice from a guy who can't find the top of his desk on a good day. Yes, my day is full of interruptions of computer glitches, people needing technical help, and asking for help from a guy who struggles to say no, BUT it's full of moments of jumping into the slog through the mud and mess of peoples lives too. To remind them that they are not alone when they feel most vulnerable.
This last weeks Gospel text from Matthew was Jesus telling Peter he will be the rock, the cornerstone, of the church. Peter was a messy individual. He sank in the water, he denied Christ when he was afraid. This is the man on whom Jesus built his church. I love Peter because I know him so well, because I can see myself in him. Just like in the water story, just like in the resurrection story, Christ is there to lift Peter up and support him when all the mess is threatening to overcome him. Underneath it all is a solid foundation supporting him.
I have bounced all over the place in this first blog about my desk because I want you who read this to understand what I see when I see my desk. I don't see a mess, I don't see distractedness, I don't see someone who is unorganized. What I see when I look at my desk is the many dimensions of who I am. I see someone who can walk away to be with his family because it's important to him, I see someone who does the work of the church that needs to be done, I see someone who opens his office to all who need a place to rest and be freed, I see underneath it all, the desk supports the work to be done and in fact doesn't cave at all. It reminds me that all of the stuff on top is work for the Kingdom and underneath all that work is a foundation of Christ that I can count on.
Our lives are messy, our lives are chaotic, but my desk reminds me that I am not alone. It reminds me that you are not alone. I hope that in your mess today you can find the Christ that walks with you.
I'd love to hear your stories of Christ being in your mess in the comments below.
Now time to clean my desk 😉
The work of the church is messy, it's chaotic, and it's all consuming if your not careful. I have learned the hard way that I need to be intentional about carving out time for myself and even more importantly protecting my time with my wife and daughter. This means that sometimes I have to be willing to walk away from the middle of my current task because it's 5:00pm and I promised I would be home for dinner. Sometimes it means coming in an hour later than I had planned, because the baby didn't sleep well and momma should have the same access to a shower for the day that daddy has. These are just the bookends of my work days and I wouldn't trade them for anything. The middle of my day involves planned meetings, unexpected visits, and tasks that need to be completed now as part of being a team player.
Today someone came into the office and I over heard they needed a hug. That was literally the first things out of their mouth. An unexpected visit from someone who is first looking for a hug. Where else can you go and this is not an unreasonable request? I look back at most the interruptions that "plague" my day, I look at the people that come by to see me and I think over the last few months.... my interruptions are people looking for help with family issues, deep emotional trauma, people who have something they need to say but no where safe to say it, people who come seeking an ear or advice from a guy who can't find the top of his desk on a good day. Yes, my day is full of interruptions of computer glitches, people needing technical help, and asking for help from a guy who struggles to say no, BUT it's full of moments of jumping into the slog through the mud and mess of peoples lives too. To remind them that they are not alone when they feel most vulnerable.
This last weeks Gospel text from Matthew was Jesus telling Peter he will be the rock, the cornerstone, of the church. Peter was a messy individual. He sank in the water, he denied Christ when he was afraid. This is the man on whom Jesus built his church. I love Peter because I know him so well, because I can see myself in him. Just like in the water story, just like in the resurrection story, Christ is there to lift Peter up and support him when all the mess is threatening to overcome him. Underneath it all is a solid foundation supporting him.
I have bounced all over the place in this first blog about my desk because I want you who read this to understand what I see when I see my desk. I don't see a mess, I don't see distractedness, I don't see someone who is unorganized. What I see when I look at my desk is the many dimensions of who I am. I see someone who can walk away to be with his family because it's important to him, I see someone who does the work of the church that needs to be done, I see someone who opens his office to all who need a place to rest and be freed, I see underneath it all, the desk supports the work to be done and in fact doesn't cave at all. It reminds me that all of the stuff on top is work for the Kingdom and underneath all that work is a foundation of Christ that I can count on.
Our lives are messy, our lives are chaotic, but my desk reminds me that I am not alone. It reminds me that you are not alone. I hope that in your mess today you can find the Christ that walks with you.
I'd love to hear your stories of Christ being in your mess in the comments below.
Now time to clean my desk 😉
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