Headphones, Forgiveness, and Diet Coke
First I want to say thank you to all of you who reached out after last weeks blog. I hope the point of the light I see in you wasn't missed. You certainly mirrored His light again after my post.
I sit here in the early hours Friday morning (late Thursday), missed my Tuesday deadline again. Surprised? Me Neither. I've spent a lot of this week thinking about this Gospel lesson. I fall in love with Peter again this week. I see him standing there and asking Jesus how many times he has to forgive, and feeling generous asks 7 times? Maybe even eyeing which ever disciple ticked him off enough to as the question. Jesus responds, "Not 7 times" and Peter's chest swells a little, and then comes the crushing blow, "but I tell you 77 times." I imagine Peter deflates a little here.
I want to pick him up and look him in the eye and say, "bro, I totally get it." 77 times.... Wow... That's a lot of forgiveness. I think about people who have really screwed me over, do I want to live in that again. It's in this moment that I think we need to stop and recognize what forgiveness is. Merriam Webster defines it as: to stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone for an offense. Cancel a debt. Forgiving doesn't mean you have to put yourself back in that situation again, forgiveness doesn't mean you don't learn from it, forgiveness means you are not going to let the offense have control over you any more. It's not going to affect you anymore.
I also think we like to get hung up on the fact that the offending party must apologize or at very least acknowledge that there was a wrong committed. However, that is not a necessary part of forgiveness either. I can forgive a wrong by letting go of my anger and pain regardless of whether the "offender" has acknowledged the hurt or hasn't.
I think that is one of the most beautiful parts of forgiveness, it really is solely your choice to make. I also think that is one of the most powerful parts of it as well. When you are ready to set it aside, move past it, you can. That doesn't mean it's easy, it doesn't mean that it's not a process. It does mean though that you have the ability to set yourself free and to choose love.
Several years ago I had a close friend who thought in the midst of a lot of chaos in my life he would help me out by pointing out where I was screwing up and help me fix it. He said some really hurtful and outright offensive things to me. For a long time I refused to talk to him and just talking about him would fill me with so much anger. But then one day, a wise Pastor whom I shared the story with, asked me why I let him get to me so long after the fact. "Because it hurt me and he didn't know what he was talking about." "OK, so forgive him and move on. What good is it doing you to hold on to it?" "But he has never apologized" "What does that have to do with you forgiving him?" As my silence hung in the air, my anger deflated. In that moment I let it go, and you know what it no longer has power over me.
God has forgiven us, he has released us from his anger and hurt of our sin, he has freed us from the debt of sin. Paid it in full for us. He has been kind and gracious and asks us to do the same in response. I know that I am grateful that it's not just 7 times.
My question/challenge for you this week, write a letter to someone you need/want to forgive. Talk about why you were hurt, express that you are done letting it have control over you any more. Explain that you are forgiving, wiping the slate clean, and moving on. You don't have to send the letter but I challenge you to write one.
**Title of this weeks blog comes from the 3 things running through my head, music from my headphones, forgiveness rolling around in my brain, and a diet coke keeping me typing.
I sit here in the early hours Friday morning (late Thursday), missed my Tuesday deadline again. Surprised? Me Neither. I've spent a lot of this week thinking about this Gospel lesson. I fall in love with Peter again this week. I see him standing there and asking Jesus how many times he has to forgive, and feeling generous asks 7 times? Maybe even eyeing which ever disciple ticked him off enough to as the question. Jesus responds, "Not 7 times" and Peter's chest swells a little, and then comes the crushing blow, "but I tell you 77 times." I imagine Peter deflates a little here.
I want to pick him up and look him in the eye and say, "bro, I totally get it." 77 times.... Wow... That's a lot of forgiveness. I think about people who have really screwed me over, do I want to live in that again. It's in this moment that I think we need to stop and recognize what forgiveness is. Merriam Webster defines it as: to stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone for an offense. Cancel a debt. Forgiving doesn't mean you have to put yourself back in that situation again, forgiveness doesn't mean you don't learn from it, forgiveness means you are not going to let the offense have control over you any more. It's not going to affect you anymore.
I also think we like to get hung up on the fact that the offending party must apologize or at very least acknowledge that there was a wrong committed. However, that is not a necessary part of forgiveness either. I can forgive a wrong by letting go of my anger and pain regardless of whether the "offender" has acknowledged the hurt or hasn't.
I think that is one of the most beautiful parts of forgiveness, it really is solely your choice to make. I also think that is one of the most powerful parts of it as well. When you are ready to set it aside, move past it, you can. That doesn't mean it's easy, it doesn't mean that it's not a process. It does mean though that you have the ability to set yourself free and to choose love.
Several years ago I had a close friend who thought in the midst of a lot of chaos in my life he would help me out by pointing out where I was screwing up and help me fix it. He said some really hurtful and outright offensive things to me. For a long time I refused to talk to him and just talking about him would fill me with so much anger. But then one day, a wise Pastor whom I shared the story with, asked me why I let him get to me so long after the fact. "Because it hurt me and he didn't know what he was talking about." "OK, so forgive him and move on. What good is it doing you to hold on to it?" "But he has never apologized" "What does that have to do with you forgiving him?" As my silence hung in the air, my anger deflated. In that moment I let it go, and you know what it no longer has power over me.
God has forgiven us, he has released us from his anger and hurt of our sin, he has freed us from the debt of sin. Paid it in full for us. He has been kind and gracious and asks us to do the same in response. I know that I am grateful that it's not just 7 times.
My question/challenge for you this week, write a letter to someone you need/want to forgive. Talk about why you were hurt, express that you are done letting it have control over you any more. Explain that you are forgiving, wiping the slate clean, and moving on. You don't have to send the letter but I challenge you to write one.
**Title of this weeks blog comes from the 3 things running through my head, music from my headphones, forgiveness rolling around in my brain, and a diet coke keeping me typing.
So I'm a week late reading the blog but it has perfect timing in my life. I will write that letter and finally let it go!
ReplyDelete