Questioning Authority
Well I missed last week's post and I am sorry about that. Between a retreat with my young adults (it was awesome) and a sick three month old (first illness), last week melted away. On Saturday the young adults looked at this past Sunday's Gospel lesson and spent a good part of the morning sitting in rocking chairs talking about authority. We talked about those in our lives that have authority over us. Answers ranged from parents to children to bosses to spouses.
We talked about God's place of authority in our lives. That warm, bright, quiet Saturday morning we talked about what makes people good leaders and makes their authority easy to follow. We talked at length about Jesus teaching and leading by example. On Sunday morning we joined the choir for worship at the lakeside at Lutheridge. Again we discussed the role of Christ's authority in our lives. Again we looked at the model set before us by Jesus. It was calm, it was peaceful, it was encouraging.
Monday morning I woke up to feed my dear sweet little girl. I sat down on the couch and settled her into my arms, turned on the tv, and the whole world shifted. The story of the tragedy in Las Vegas this past weekend was all over the screen. I watched gripped by fear, anger, and, sadness. My stomach turned more than once. I looked down at my baby girl quietly drinking her bottle unaware that anything was different about the day and the tears fell down my cheeks. I wanted nothing more than to put her into a protective bubble knowing that this is the world that my little girl will grow up in. I hugged her a little closer and prayed for all those families who wouldn't have the chance to hold their children, mothers, fathers, brothers, sister, husbands, wives, significant others, friends again.
I'd be lying if I said fear didn't control me for a while that day; if I said it didn't make me hyper vigilant even just getting my daughter into the car to take to the babysitters for the day. It wasn't until I sat down at my desk Monday that I realized how on edge I had been all morning. I looked at the Gospel lesson and I thought again about authority. I had certainly given a lot of authority to fear that morning. It had definitely dictated and altered a lot of what I had done that morning, even if just in small ways.
As I explored that road of fear and the power it had over me I thought a lot about my emotions and how much authority they have over my actions and reactions. Here I had spent the weekend looking at authority, sometimes pondering how "the man" keeps us down, and yet one of the biggest and most direct culprits of authority in my life is my own fear, anger, sadness, mental fatigue, etc...
It's alarming when I really take time to look at it. The dictionary defines authority as the power or right to give orders, make decisions, and enforce obedience. It's so easy to get caught up in the fear and scariness of the world. It's easy to hide away and shut down. It's easy to let our emotions make our decisions and enforce our obedience to them. Yet, Christ is calling us to something more. In this Gospel a father (God) asks his sons to tend the vineyard, one says, "no" and then goes, the other says, "I will go" and then doesn't. If I am honest, depending on the day, I could be either son. In my context I see the first son tired, afraid, whatever it is that makes him say, "no," then deciding that whatever it was is not going to be in control and he is going to do the work. The second, I see ready to go, and then when it's time he is gripped by fear, tiredness, busyness and doesn't go. I can understand both of those things. I lived in some of it Monday; I live it daily if I am honest. Both sides. BUT you know what, I don't want to be either son. I want to be the son who isn't in this story, I want to be the son that says, "I go" and then gets up and goes.
What does that look like? It looks like not letting the fear control my life, it looks like not letting the anger and sadness dictate my response. It looks like engaging others in healthy conversation about the issues at hand. It looks like not demonizing the other side if I don't agree. It looks like prayer and support, and not just in lip service. It looks like doing those things that Jesus called me to do, for the hungry, the poor, the ill, the lost, and bereaved.
I'm going to start by not letting my emotions have so much authority over me. I'm going to question those things that have authority in my life and make sure they line up with what Christ calls me to do in the Gospel. I'm going to strive to be the "I go," get up, and go be the person Christ needs to me to be. We are in dark times and it's easy to be afraid of the dark but I will do my best to be a light shining in the darkness reminding others the light will not be overcome.
Will you join me?
We talked about God's place of authority in our lives. That warm, bright, quiet Saturday morning we talked about what makes people good leaders and makes their authority easy to follow. We talked at length about Jesus teaching and leading by example. On Sunday morning we joined the choir for worship at the lakeside at Lutheridge. Again we discussed the role of Christ's authority in our lives. Again we looked at the model set before us by Jesus. It was calm, it was peaceful, it was encouraging.
Monday morning I woke up to feed my dear sweet little girl. I sat down on the couch and settled her into my arms, turned on the tv, and the whole world shifted. The story of the tragedy in Las Vegas this past weekend was all over the screen. I watched gripped by fear, anger, and, sadness. My stomach turned more than once. I looked down at my baby girl quietly drinking her bottle unaware that anything was different about the day and the tears fell down my cheeks. I wanted nothing more than to put her into a protective bubble knowing that this is the world that my little girl will grow up in. I hugged her a little closer and prayed for all those families who wouldn't have the chance to hold their children, mothers, fathers, brothers, sister, husbands, wives, significant others, friends again.
I'd be lying if I said fear didn't control me for a while that day; if I said it didn't make me hyper vigilant even just getting my daughter into the car to take to the babysitters for the day. It wasn't until I sat down at my desk Monday that I realized how on edge I had been all morning. I looked at the Gospel lesson and I thought again about authority. I had certainly given a lot of authority to fear that morning. It had definitely dictated and altered a lot of what I had done that morning, even if just in small ways.
As I explored that road of fear and the power it had over me I thought a lot about my emotions and how much authority they have over my actions and reactions. Here I had spent the weekend looking at authority, sometimes pondering how "the man" keeps us down, and yet one of the biggest and most direct culprits of authority in my life is my own fear, anger, sadness, mental fatigue, etc...
It's alarming when I really take time to look at it. The dictionary defines authority as the power or right to give orders, make decisions, and enforce obedience. It's so easy to get caught up in the fear and scariness of the world. It's easy to hide away and shut down. It's easy to let our emotions make our decisions and enforce our obedience to them. Yet, Christ is calling us to something more. In this Gospel a father (God) asks his sons to tend the vineyard, one says, "no" and then goes, the other says, "I will go" and then doesn't. If I am honest, depending on the day, I could be either son. In my context I see the first son tired, afraid, whatever it is that makes him say, "no," then deciding that whatever it was is not going to be in control and he is going to do the work. The second, I see ready to go, and then when it's time he is gripped by fear, tiredness, busyness and doesn't go. I can understand both of those things. I lived in some of it Monday; I live it daily if I am honest. Both sides. BUT you know what, I don't want to be either son. I want to be the son who isn't in this story, I want to be the son that says, "I go" and then gets up and goes.
What does that look like? It looks like not letting the fear control my life, it looks like not letting the anger and sadness dictate my response. It looks like engaging others in healthy conversation about the issues at hand. It looks like not demonizing the other side if I don't agree. It looks like prayer and support, and not just in lip service. It looks like doing those things that Jesus called me to do, for the hungry, the poor, the ill, the lost, and bereaved.
I'm going to start by not letting my emotions have so much authority over me. I'm going to question those things that have authority in my life and make sure they line up with what Christ calls me to do in the Gospel. I'm going to strive to be the "I go," get up, and go be the person Christ needs to me to be. We are in dark times and it's easy to be afraid of the dark but I will do my best to be a light shining in the darkness reminding others the light will not be overcome.
Will you join me?
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